you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
