hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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