First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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