sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
