Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize