Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
