just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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