it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
