I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
