She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
