New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
