Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Sober January is a disaster.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
