He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She bit a glass in half.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I did not marry a roomba.
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