On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
