I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
