it hurts more in the daytime
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
