Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
