you win again, gameday.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
