I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
