I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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