have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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