I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
