I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just gargled with NyQuil
ok first of all what the fuck
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
