i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Randomize
