the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
