But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I want to make a zoo with you.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
