Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
i need some magic done to my vagina
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
