dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
