so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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