gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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