i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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