Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize