friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
