brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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