we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize