i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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