I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
