Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
