come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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