Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
