Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
