All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
