the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
