i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
