Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
