I cockslap morals
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Please don't give away my fajitas
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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