You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
