what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
My ass is underappreciated
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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