Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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