soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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