dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
