I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
