You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
