You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
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