Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
