im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I need a beard to bite.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
