Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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