so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
