Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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