My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You made out with two different species that night
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
