Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
