kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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