So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
