I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize