I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
