you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
