You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I could make wine with my vomit
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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