I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize