No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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