That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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