Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
