I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
