i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
