Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
