i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
